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BIG setback

March 21st, 2012 at 11:02 am

my father died yesterday. the only thing my dad ever wanted from his money was to be able to leave his kids some. i don't know how much, at this point, we each will inherit but the estate will be equally divided between his four kids. there is the house that my brother and i live in to be decided to keep or sell. my brother who moved back home from the boston area about eight years ago has indicated that perhaps we can stay here in the house together by cutting expenses and being roommates.

my father never wanted to go to the nursing home and he got his wish. his doctor sent him to the hospital last friday and he was alert and oriented at that time and the next day. as it turned out he was in end stage kidney failure and the doctor asked him what kind of care he wanted. dad made his wishes known about home health care and on monday we met with hospice. dad was supposed to come home yesterday but he passed away yesterday morning. it was the most peaceful death i have witnesses with his family around him and good care in the hospital. although suprizing to us all we are grateful he was spared a long bout of agony and pain.

i have, as planned, accumulated 800.00 toward my 1225. hospital copayment but have yet to mail the check because of the hospitalization of dad. one more payment and that will be under my belt.

since my brother has decided to stay, my life has changed. i had counted on being forced to "grow up" and live alone until yesterday. one of my sisters said she wanted to give us the house for caring for dad. the other sister has yet to mention anything but even if she doesn't gift us, i believe we may be able to buy her out.

dad figured the expenses a few years ago and they were about 800.00/month. that would be less than any apt i could rent and this is a pretty good area with a lot of younger people moving in remodeling the older homes. my brother has made many friends in the area.

anyway, i am still plucking away just feel the sting of a big personal loss.

Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

12 Responses to “BIG setback”

  1. rob62521 Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 12:00 pm 1332331217
    1332331217

    So sorry about your dad's death. It sounds like he was given the dignity to go on his terms. God bless you!

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 12:39 pm 1332333558
    1332333558

    ((Hugs)) May the good memories of your dad give you strength during your time of sorrow.

  3. Miz Pat Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 02:15 pm 1332339333
    1332339333

    I am so sorry. You have my deepest condolences and you and your family are in my prayers at this time of loss. It sounds like you had a wonderful Dad. What a treasure.

  4. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 03:08 pm 1332342486
    1332342486

    Oh, so sorry. Sounds like you'll have a lot to figure out, but try not to let yourself worry or feel pressure to understand what is the best course of action. Estates have to wait all the time....Look to outside support right now, too, because you'll need to take care of yourself. It could be a blessing that your brother is there.

  5. CB in the City Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 03:56 pm 1332345409
    1332345409

    So sorry to hear of your loss. It is never easy, but knowing that he passed peacefully and surrounded by family is a great blessing.

  6. LuckyRobin Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 09:59 pm 1332367179
    1332367179

    I am sorry for your loss. My dad died earlier this year and it hits me at the strangest times. I am glad your father's passing was easy and hope it all works out with staying in the house.

  7. wowitsawonderfullife Says:
    March 22nd, 2012 at 12:25 am 1332375934
    1332375934

    So sorry about your Dad. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself some time to let things settle.

  8. Saving For a Rainy Day Says:
    March 23rd, 2012 at 02:28 am 1332469682
    1332469682

    my sincerest condolences to you and your family.

  9. Jerry Says:
    March 30th, 2012 at 04:32 pm 1333125159
    1333125159

    I am really sorry to read about your loss. It is a blessing that his disease did not lead to lengthy suffering or hospital/insurance bills, and that his wishes could be met in that regard. I wish you a smooth transition period and peace with your family.
    Jerry

  10. snafu Says:
    April 1st, 2012 at 07:07 pm 1333307235
    1333307235

    I'm sorry for your loss, losing a parent is painful but take some solace that his wish was fulfilled, he passed peacefully, with family present and loving. It will take time for healing, we're all hopeful you can manage to stay level, in control of bipolar issues.

    Take your time, don't make major decisions in haste. You are smart and know the issues you face can be dealt with. I hope you'll keep posting and let the SA site hold you accountable to yourself. Take care.

  11. michele Says:
    April 11th, 2012 at 09:43 am 1334137389
    1334137389

    thank you all so much for your thoughts & prayers...they mean a whole lot to me.

  12. PatientSaver Says:
    April 13th, 2012 at 11:56 am 1334318175
    1334318175

    Really sorry to read this...hang in there

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