this month has been financially much better than the previous few.

i paid all my bills including a couple i had not budgeted for. one was an 80.00 visit with my shrink that covered two office calls and the other bill was 96.00 for my oxygen and supplies. i had budgeted only sixty for that.

this is also the first time i have drawn up a defined budget since dad died. what we decided to do is go ahead and pay the bills through the banks automated system and then reimburse the bank account. since the monthly bills are so unpredictable, i couldn't figure out a better way to do it.

although i still have about three weeks until i get my next check (this is a five week month per pay schedule) i still have money left over after paying all the bills. if you want to sit down i will share with you the amount. i still have over 500.00! and i am so proud of myself. the only monthly bill i haven't covered yet is cigarettes and i am trying to cut way back.

i cut back on some of the cable tv stations we will be getting and although we loose all of our movie channels, we are only saving 15.00. cable/internet is ridiculously high in this area amounting to about 100.00. currently we don't have our telephone set up on a bundle system because we are thinking of getting it taken out and depend on tracphone. my brother already has a cell phone. i have had a tracphone in the past but the charger stopped working. i was happy with the service and everything. the telephone bill this month was 41.00 and tracphone would be no greater than 20.00. it all is dependent on 911 service which must be available on the phone or else i wouldn't consider it.

i find i don't post often because i only get paid once a month. routinely, i will figure my budget the night before payday. i figured to have a 300.00 surplus this month but it looks as if it will be even more.

now the object of the game is to save this money for my retirement...even though i am disabled and on disability, there will be a time when my needs will be more expensive or at least i am anticipating them to be so.

the gambling is definately a thing of the past and i can't say i miss the assoiated grief surrounding it. in fact, my most suicidal points in my life have centered around gambling so noone would miss that now would they. giving it up is the perfect way to honor my late dad as well.

i hope everyone had a good month. i read the blogs faithfully and feel as if i know many of you personally.

since i am on disability i have one day a month when i feel flush and the feeling doesn't last long. i started getting my check via paper about a yr ago because with direct deposit i found i would gamble my money almost all before daybreak.

today, since my credits so bad that i can't have a checking acct., i use walmarts money card. they cash the check for a 6.00 fee and then i can deposit the amt i feel will be needed for bills. usually it is a lot less than the check and i really do not feel comfortable walking around with the big amt of cash but the system over all has helped me.

since dad died, we have incurred the added expense of groceries. my brother and i decided to pool 100.00/mo to start to see where we stand. we did this about the time dad died on the 20th of march. we still have 25.00 in our envelope and that's after taking the family to a cafeteria where the bill came to 70.00. we paid because they are always paying for us.

i won't be able to pay the hospital the entire bill this month as planned. in fact because i didn't know how the money would work last month i only added two hundred to the four i had saved and sent it to them. i did tho, call them and ask if i could give them two hundred a month until its paid off. as you recall my copayment was 1225.00. i still owe 625.00. they said that would be fine.

i gambled this month unfortunately...to the tune of 600.00. i was appalled when i added it up today. that's about half of my government check and could have been applied to the hospital bill. additionally, after asking for a new walmart credit card after cutting up the old one a yr ago, i find my balance at 218. without much effort.

as a safegaurd against gambling so much, i believe i will pay as much as possible to my debtors. i thought i could give walmart 200.00 and i also want to restart my charitable donations esp after reading of the earthquake in indonisia tonight. those poor people. i found a good charity that i trust and they even have called me twice to thank me for donating money without soliciting for more! Before the hospital i was able to give roughly 10 percent of my income but i may start of with five this time until i get more secure with my budget after dad's death.

i will have meds this month, of course, and one annual bill of getting my car inspected. it should pass but theres about a 35 dollar fee. oh, yes, this month i must renew my drivers lisence and that will be 25.00.

we figured the house with taxes since i am disabled will be roughly 400./mo each. that includes utilities and i must say since dad died we have all but stopped using the air and heat so there's so money saved there.

well, that's all for now. i hope you are managing your money better than i.

my father died yesterday. the only thing my dad ever wanted from his money was to be able to leave his kids some. i don't know how much, at this point, we each will inherit but the estate will be equally divided between his four kids. there is the house that my brother and i live in to be decided to keep or sell. my brother who moved back home from the boston area about eight years ago has indicated that perhaps we can stay here in the house together by cutting expenses and being roommates.

my father never wanted to go to the nursing home and he got his wish. his doctor sent him to the hospital last friday and he was alert and oriented at that time and the next day. as it turned out he was in end stage kidney failure and the doctor asked him what kind of care he wanted. dad made his wishes known about home health care and on monday we met with hospice. dad was supposed to come home yesterday but he passed away yesterday morning. it was the most peaceful death i have witnesses with his family around him and good care in the hospital. although suprizing to us all we are grateful he was spared a long bout of agony and pain.

i have, as planned, accumulated 800.00 toward my 1225. hospital copayment but have yet to mail the check because of the hospitalization of dad. one more payment and that will be under my belt.

since my brother has decided to stay, my life has changed. i had counted on being forced to "grow up" and live alone until yesterday. one of my sisters said she wanted to give us the house for caring for dad. the other sister has yet to mention anything but even if she doesn't gift us, i believe we may be able to buy her out.

dad figured the expenses a few years ago and they were about 800.00/month. that would be less than any apt i could rent and this is a pretty good area with a lot of younger people moving in remodeling the older homes. my brother has made many friends in the area.

anyway, i am still plucking away just feel the sting of a big personal loss.

i became disabled in 2003 with bipolar disorder. true to my illness, i accumulated massive amounts of debt from gambling...online internet. i accumulated so much debt in fact that once i was terminated from my job i found my only solution was to file for bankruptcy as i owed something like 30,000.00 and had absolutely nothing in savings. i mananged to come up with enough money to cover the lawyer fee and in fact paid him in advance so i wouldn't gamble the money away and did it. it wasn't pretty but there was no alternative. in actuality, at the time, my creditors were very understanding before filing. i was fortunate i guess.

today, i still owe money but it is all late fees and interest. i owe about 500.00 to paypal credit as i used to buy and sell on ebay but when i sold some jewelry i had insured the package and it was lost and because i didn't get a receipt saying it had been mailed, they deducted the money from a non existant bank acct. i later got the money from the p o however by that time another package that the buyer had never picked up at the po had been returned so there was another debit to my acct. at the same time i was having an episode and just gave up trying to settle the issue.

i owe the late fees on two other credit cards whose balances have more than been paid. you see ever month for years i was sending these ccs 100.00/month and finally i tallied it up and saw the evidence for myself. once i stopped paying there were even more late fees and interest charges. today, i just don't answer the telephone after getting an answering machine.

then there were the payday loans. they ruined my credit at the bank making it where i must used debit cards. ANYWAY.............

i make 1234.00/month. i live and care for my 87 yo father. i pay the cable/internet bill of about 110.00. this gas, cigarettes are my main bills. i manage ok if i don't play solitaire. the urge is strong to play but when i run out of money i am fine.

i was hospitalized in jan for 8 days many of those in ICU. i was billed about 90,000. but with my supplimental medicare insurance my part was 1225.00. i have saved up 400.00 of that and will have another 400.00 next week at which time i will mail a check or rather my father will as my credit is too far gone to get a checking acct. the bill will be paid in april in full and then i will start saving like crazy.

what i would eventually like to do is ladder cds monthly to the point where i would be able to eventually withdraw about 100.00/month to help out once i get on my own.

my car is a 91 mazda with about 65,000 miles on it bought from my aunt and she was the only owner. it is in good shape and i just paid my insurance this month of 315.00. gas runs about 30.00.

since i was hospitalized with respitory problems and have been unable to quit i was advised to cut down one half pack/day. i have done better whereas i used to smoke two packs a day i now smoke one. cigarettes are about 39.00/carton here for my brand.

i occassionally (once a month) go to the grocery store and buy 100.00+- groceries. and about once a month i will order take out for the three of us, dad, my brother and myself.

these are my bills. i am a good saver once i make up my mind to save. i know a little about gold and silver to buy and sell and have been buying a little gold when i could afford it. when i say gold, i mean gold jewelry used on ebay. since i can't have a bank acct i need stuff like that.

i have been reading these blogs for over a year and am jus t now submitting my blog. i hope it will hold me accountable to not gamble and also to save, save, save.=